I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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