Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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