So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize