It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
