Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
This baby is an asshole
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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