I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
