I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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