Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just googled if crying burns calories
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
