I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Randomize
