It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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