Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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