Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's official drugs can't kill me
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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