Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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