Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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