I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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