I accidentally had phone sex last night
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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