VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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