woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
