everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
