OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
