Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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