You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She even gives head with a lisp.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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