After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
