Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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