He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
