You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
