doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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