omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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