Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
