Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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