everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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