I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
