Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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