I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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