Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
