): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
