I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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