oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
