a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
