I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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