this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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