u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
