and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
