Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
your room smells of hookers.
And success
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
