anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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