I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
