There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
