You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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