They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
