You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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