Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
