i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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