my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
