exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
