the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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