So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
