did you get engaged???
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
