he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
