I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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