She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Farmville is her only friend.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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