I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Just cropdusted the office
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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